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        AguilarBaby  47, Female, Washington, USA - 50 entries
    04
    Jan 2007
    9:49 AM PST
       

    Hi Baby, How are you doing? I am sure good b/c I still feel you moving from time to time. It is just so surreal. Well everybody at work is anticipating finding out exactly if you are going to be a boy or a girl. Like I have told you in the past your Dad and I wish you would be a boy however as long as you have 10 fingers and 10 toes and are as healthy as I can have you then it will be perfectly ok if you are a girl....Some people at work want you to be a girl b/c they think that it will be so cute to shop for you and then there are some that think that you are a boy. Whatever you are is ok with me. Well today was just an ordinary day just went to work and then came home. We ate dinner and now we are going to bed. Don't forget that we always love you and we will talk to you later. Love Always, Mom & Dad
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        sumitnarang  41, Male, India - 22 entries
    04
    Jan 2007
    11:15 AM I
       

    hi posting a journal after so many days.the last week of last year was fantastic, i hav spend lot of time wth my frnds and family.
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    2 comment(s) - 11:12 PM - 01/21/2007
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        fannytang  18, Female, Hong Kong SAR - First entry!
    04
    Jan 2007
    4:01 AM GMT
       

    下午問frankie拿保險資料
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        itsjustme  46, Female, Texas, USA - 37 entries
    04
    Jan 2007
    9:47 AM CST
       

    So New Years was interesting. Enough said. Now all is back to normal. Work, go home, work go home....blah blah. Just the usual. Not that that's bad or anything. Its kind of nice to leave the craziness behind for a little while. I need to start working on my house again. We've been tying to remodel the house. We've gotten alot done, but everything seemed to come to a standstill for a while. I'm kind of excited to see it all going again. And for it to be done!
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        tealprincess18  35, Female, Virginia, USA - 88 entries
    04
    Jan 2007
    11:32 AM EDT
       

    to all who will see this i am letting you know i am not a good writer when it comes to putting down my feelings so.. if you read some of my entries and the dont make sence, dont Freak out !!!!! well since i wrote earlier thing have been ok!!!
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        mileylover5  29, Female, California, USA - 24 entries
    04
    Jan 2007
    6:39 AM PST
       

    are there any friends out there?
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        uns3ttl3d  38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:26 PM EDT
       

    I am a young woman now. WHy do i still feel like a child at almost 20? I need to grow up but i don't know how. I need to stop gripping so tightly to things that will do me no good but i have a heart that feels too much. i can't let go of anything. especially the past to the point i have no care for the present which in turn screws me over for the future. i have so many problems which i should deal with through myself because after years of being on meds and being dubbed 'depressed' i have learned and accomplished nothing. a pill can't help me. a pill, or many pills, haven't really helped anyone i know that had a problem. friends and family included. the fact remains that we're given all of this shi t so we don't have to feel what we express as reality. so we can mind numb ourselves. so we can have our thoughts silences. so we can sit there like dummies and not have to think about the things that matter most to us. a pill can't save me. only i can save me. i can only get better by making myself better.
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        uns3ttl3d  38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:14 PM EDT
       

    ive realized that many people i know are like me before the past year or so. people that claim they have no feelings but theyre actually the most poetic and emotionally sensitive people i know. why do they go through the effort to deny such a thing as that? why are they ashamed? or embarrased? why do they feel such great fear in xpressing themselves? i struggle with that obstacle myself. but i've mastered the skill of suppression. i've mastered the skill of coming off as apathetic and emotionless and dead. am i proud? most certainly not. necause i realize that if iacknowledge my emotions i will fall further down into a hole of depression. life would be even more of a hell than it is already and i'd feel even more alone and unhappy than i am already. sure i would feel, but i would much rather be numb. so i pretend he is the wind. i imagine that he is around and with me at all times. i constantly find myself in the serach for empirical truth that he still exists...that he once existed and that he will never be vanished from my mind. because he now only lives in the minds and hearts and memories of others, but as all of us carelessly let go of these things then he will no longer exist in this world. and that saddens me greatly. and i can not let that happen. i cannot control others but i can control my own mind. my own heart. i will never let go of remembrance and memories. he only lives on through remembrance and memories. through his possesions my mother recklessly threw out. through places that have been frosted over in negligence and moved on into other things but there will forever be a ghost of what used to be. in one moment in time he was there. we were all there. we were all there together and that moment in time did exist at one point in time. somewhere off into the galaxy are light waves from many years back. light waves i have learned that still project the past as if it were the present and if someone were able to see it, they would see it playing through in front of their very own eyes like a bittersweet movie that actually no longer exists. how i wish i were off in the universe somewhere watching these lightwaves as if i could actually partake in them. how i would love to wake up in the past. how i grasp ever so tightly to what is gone, but not from my heart and my mind. i am highly sensitive. i am very vulnerable. i am susceptible to the manipulation and dominance of others, i realize this. but i will protect myself with apathy so it can serve as a shield against their razor sharp knives they wish to stab me with. its 1:13 am. i am still fucked over from the 12 hour time difference from being overseas. its friday. on sunday i leave back to new york. i readjust to my life. i get things done. i go into the city until the 14th to jus thoroughly enjoy myself in solitude amongst a sea of strangers, hostile strangers, that for the most part, do not care to see me. this is the way of life in the city. you can be alone but in a sense no be so much alone at all. kind of like life in fastforward but i am standing still and watching and obseving and taking in.
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        Angela Wang  47, Female, China - 73 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:14 PM EDT
       

    Today I had no class, for our teacher had something important to do, so he had to give up his class. It is still cold today. I stayed in the lab to review my paper in the whole day. But I almost had no fruit---- did not find the information on the internet that I would like to have. I also had like to go back to my dorm where it is dump, dirty and cold. As if nobody believes what I said here, but that is a fact that my other two roommates are always lazy to clean the room. They love to live in dirty surroundings? No, they also like clear room. The main reason is that they are too lazy. I already cannot bear their behavior, so I had to choose to escape the reality.
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        Angela Wang  47, Female, China - 73 entries
    03
    Jan 2007
    10:14 PM EDT
       

    Today I had no class, for our teacher had something important to do, so he had to give up his class. It is still cold today. I stayed in the lab to review my paper in the whole day. But I almost had no fruit---- did not find the information on the internet that I would like to have. I also had like to go back to my dorm where it is dump, dirty and cold. As if nobody believes what I said here, but that is a fact that my other two roommates are always lazy to clean the room. They love to live in dirty surroundings? No, they also like clear room. The main reason is that they are too lazy. I already cannot bear their behavior, so I had to choose to escape the fact.
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